Some days I'm JUST a mom, and that's okay too.
When I was pregnant with Dom and for some time after he was born I did a lot of talking in therapy about how I wanted motherhood to be for me. Yes how cute. I thought I could decide how I wanted motherhood to be for me as if I truly had the ability to design motherhood to my liking. I talked about being more than JUST a mom. That I could still be Rashida-All-The-Things! Motherhood would only take up a certain percent of my Rashida pie chart. Neat and nice just like that.
Two kids later and I’ve realized something. Some days I’m JUST a mom and that’s okay too. While I want my kids to know me as Rashida the person, a woman with wants and needs and desires beyond them. I also can’t kill myself in the process of making this a day-to-day reality. Some days I make it to bedtime and the most “productive” thing I’ve done that day is cheer Dom on as he rode his bike down the street. Some days my success can’t be measured by how many hours I logged at my laptop or how a well presentation went.
Society makes it so hard on us moms. Stay home with your kids and you’re a mom without a life. Work full-time and you’re a mom who is not there enough for her kids. The reality is while there’s room for both, it’s not in the lovely organized pie chart I thought it’d be. It’s not this or that in a given day but rather Motherhood is a messy plate of ands and on tough days onlys.
Yes, I’m absolutely more than JUST a mom and I’m proud of that. But some days I’m “mom, mom, mom, mom mommmmmyyyyyy” and there’s no room for anything else, And I’m learning to be proud of that too.